Struggling with loneliness?

I feel very lame writing this but here goes nothing.

I’ve lived in NYC for 12 years now and most of my friends have left. I have a few remaining but most are in partnerships (and thus busy) or great friends where I get to see them once in a blue moon. I live in a neighborhood where everyone is mostly families and keep to themselves. I’m very lonely and although I’ve met tons of people here, I struggle to foster deep connections (FWIW, I’m neurodivergent).

I do get out of the house – I have a band, I go to the gym, I go to movies and shows but most of these are kind of isolating activities (I spend a lot of time writing songs).

I work professionally as an attorney but let’s just say…not the group I prefer to spend time around, haha.

All things considered, it externally appears I’m doing well. I have a big apartment, I’m able to live comfortably, I got in shape, I don’t really drink/drug and I’m generally a delight to be around. I go on dates and put myself out there. I’m just really sad that I’m 36 and I don’t have a lot of ride or dies in my life. I’m pretty introverted/Canadian so I struggle to ‘initiate’ at the best of times, but I’m always there for when my friends need me. With my close friends, I knew I had an instant connection but it seems hard to find this in others.

I guess what would you do? I love living life here and I can certainly entertain myself, but I’d prefer to do it with others, not alone.