Who else is getting crushed by NYC cost of living? (childcare, rent, healthcare, etc.)

Hi all,

I am seriously wondering how people can afford to stay here. Been here almost a decade and the rise in costs–especially since the pandemic–are absolutely crushing us. Our situation is:

We make about $145,000 as a couple before taxes, both later 30s Our previous apartment’s lease could not be renewed, so we just moved into a rent-stabilized 2-bed at $3,000 / mo–this was through a ‘middle-income’ program through the city. I can confirm that the news reports about it being brutal to find ‘affordable’ housing in NYC right now are correct. It was a struggle to find anything this price that was also reasonable distance to our jobs. And this is not fancy–the neighborhood is terrible. Expecting baby #1 soon. All the daycare centers seem to be $3,500+ (side note: how are so many people paying $40,000 per year in childcare???). In-homes are cheaper ($1,600-2,000) but we’re not finding any openings, and some look really sketchy / have a lot of violations. A lot of the options in our area are in NYCHA buildings. Waitlists are going into 2027. Our target budget has been $2,000 / mo. but it now seems that might be impossible. Also, because I’m taking NY PFL, our income will actually be much less this year. SO is the higher earner and while we’d love for him to take the full 12 weeks, we can’t afford it–so he will only be home a few weeks. Because of an unavoidable job change, the increase in costs this year, and adding the baby, we’re looking at ~ $1,000 / mo increase in premiums. Because of student loans and lower wages prior, we are a bit behind saving for retirement, we are trying to catch up–but it seems this might be a place we have to cut back We have always lived below our means–no crazy eating out or vacations or expensive luxuries. I am extremely thrifty and am always looking to cut costs. I maintain a tightly monitored budget.

So, compound all of this together and is anyone who is ‘middle class’ supposed to survive here? It seems like you either have to make less (to qualify for public assistance) or significantly more (and even people making $200,000k+ complain on Reddit about the squeeze). Most of the solutions people offer are 1) move out of the city, 2) have family members help, 3) have generational wealth….none of these are options…..or 4) the lower earner (usually the woman in a hetero couple) should just stop working–but this impacts lifetime earnings and social security….also, I have a PhD because I want to work and excel in my field….or 4) stop crying and suck it up, etc.

I suspect there really is no good solution that can be generated by individuals because these are are much bigger, systemic problems. Ultimately, people seem to ‘make it work’ by making sacrifices that are really not ok. Obviously, our country is broken, and though NYC has it’s advantages, it’s also failing residents. It seems like it will take years to feel any of the changes Mayor Mamdani is making. Even so, dare I ask: any creative solutions folks have found?