Where can I go ugly scream and cry alone? Are rage rooms gimmicks?

My fiancée passed by his own choice a few months ago and I can only quietly sob in the shower or my pillow. I want to take a bat into some woods or break things. I don’t want the police called on me, I just want to let my pain out for a try, not hurt anyone, just scream his name and have a cathartic release that will tire me. Rage rooms..? I’ve tried crying in the park while pretending to sunbathe, was close to getting heat stroke. TYIA